(Thanks to Kingtycoon Mathoslah for the tip.)
Whether it left a soft spot or a sore spot, there’s no doubt that anyone who slid through the 70s could do so unfazed by the smooth sounds of Southern California’s Yacht Rock. Sailing a swath of pure stereo bliss from the cool waters of Santa Barbara to the spicy shores of San Diego, Yacht Rock was more than a sound: It was a mindset, a philosophy, and a takin’-it-easy way of life.
And now at YachtRock.com you can relive the adventure through the struggles of a young Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald as they wrestle with life, loss, and the urge to rock. Every episode is worth watching (and hey, they’re only 5 minutes or so each), and each one tackles a new angle of the Yacht Rock story. From its 60s hippie roots, to its 80s dalliance with Pop Metal, to its sampled-resurrection in 90s hip-hop, every line cast into this sea of cheese lands a catch of AM Gold.
Give it a try. And be sure to keep it smooth.
I wish I had a yacht. Or at least some kind of boat. We live right next to Hoover Reservoir, and I walk out there at this time of year and watch suntanned, skinny people hanging off of their karamarans and think, “I wish I had a boat.” But I don’t have a boat. Nevertheless, I would not listen to Loggins and Messina on that boat. I just wouldn’t do it. You couldn’t pay me. I’d listen to Lyle Lovett, though.
If I had a boat
I’d go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I’d ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat
If I were Roy Rogers
I’d sure enough be single
I couldn’t bring myself to marrying old Dale
It’d just be me and Trigger
We’d go riding through them movies
Then we’d buy a boat and on the sea we’d sail
And if I had a boat
I’d go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I’d ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat
The mystery masked man was smart
He got himself a Tonto
‘Cause Tonto did the dirty work for free
But Tonto he was smarter
And one day said kemo sabe
Kiss my ass I bought a boat
I’m going out to sea
And if I had a boat
I’d go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I’d ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat
And if I were like lightning
I wouldn’t need no sneakers
I’d come and go wherever I would please
And I’d scare ’em by the shade tree
And I’d scare ’em by the light pole
But I would not scare my pony on my boat out on the sea
And if I had a boat
I’d go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I’d ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat
— Lyle Lovett, “If I Had a Boat”
Lyle Lovett’s good, but for pure hilarity, a Loggins & Messina impersonation always wins. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time…